Light for the Lost Boy

Andrew Peterson.
How I wish I had a better sense of recall.
I think we first discovered him through the online program Haventoday.org
How often have I and my beloved been served up true blessing by the widely diverse and oddly well-timed contributions featured here?
(a rhetorical question that can be blissfully ignored btw:)
It was a series on Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas, complemented by a music video of Petersons' Dancing in the Minefields that had us first sitting up straight and taking notice.
Imagine that for starters - a marriage referenced as a dance of two in a minefield.
Newlyweds will balk and quickly proffer disgust at such a notion.  Been there, done that.
The seasoned longer-serving couples however will smile at its quirky truth.  Been there, doing that.

We fell in love with his gift for getting to the heart of the matter in song and story and even made a road trip to Valparaiso, Indiana last year so we could listen to him live on stage.

I'm here to tell you he's done it again with his newest album:  Light for the Lost Boy
But don't take my word for it.  Click the link and decide for yourself.
You are urged however, to take your time with it, to listen carefully to the words, to let them steep slowly in your soul.

Andrew Peterson is equally gifted as a writer - working on book four of the fantasy adventure series Wingfeather Saga.   I couldn't put them down, now joining the throng who wait eagerly for the conclusion of the story.
(truly? does it have to end?)
To be so doubly gifted seems almost cruel to the rest of us.
Conversely, the rest of us can simply take up and read or take up and listen - finding ourselves a place of respite in a crazy world and a peace to pass on to those around us.
Well, I call it a peace but it is perhaps more aptly termed a restless sense of grace.  Such as you might eventually discover in reading Tolkien's Lord of the Rings Trilogy or least this commentary of same: A Sudden Joyous Turn


When I look at you, boy
I can see the road that lies ahead
I can see the love and the sorrow

Bright fields of joy
Dark nights awake in a stormy bed
I want to go with you, but I can’t follow

So keep to the old roads
Keep to the old roads
And you’ll find your way

Your first kiss, your first crush
The first time you know you’re not enough
The first time there’s no one there to hold you

The first time you pack it all up
And drive alone across America
Please remember the words that I told you

Keep to the old roads
Keep to the old roads
And you’ll find your way
You’ll find your way

If love is what you’re looking for
The old roads lead to an open door
And you’ll find your way
You’ll find your way
Back home

And I know you'll be scared when you take up that cross
And I know it'll hurt, 'cause I know what it costs
And I love you so much and it's so hard to watch
But you're gonna grow up and you're gonna get lost
Just go back, go back

Go back, go back to the ancient paths
Lash your heart to the ancient mast
And hold on, boy, whatever you do
To the hope that's taken hold of you
And you'll find your way
You'll find your way
If love is what you’re looking for
The old roads lead to an open door
And you’ll find your way
You’ll find your way
Back home

Enjoy exploring this artist as we have.
I think it's time for another road trip with my beloved.

Abram, an unbeliever??

If you have ever felt unworthy or unqualified to believe that God will fulfill great purposes in your life, please allow me to introduce you to Abram. What you may not know about him is that at the time of his dramatic call from the Lord, he is living in idolatry. Abram is not yet worshiping the one true God; he is following many "little g" gods along with the rest of his family (see Joshua 24:2). He does not know the Creator of the universe, who is about to unleash his power into his destiny. In short, when our story begins, Abram is an unbeliever.

ACK!  What are you saying?

Believing God | Today's Christian Woman

I was first drawn to this article because of something that has occupied my thoughts for most of the summer.  I've been sifting through the things I'll call core values or beliefs and attempting to measure my commitment to them.  Weird stuff...and disturbing too.
Like Occupy Washington, this is no welcome squatter of my personal space.

Let's cut to the chase here.
Perhaps what I have identified as core values or beliefs could more accurately be called ideals or ideas.  Some (of which I used to apply as the irrevocable Law of the Medes & Persians) have since become utterly irrelevant.
Ouch.
Age, circumstance and children have a way of bringing these things to bear.
My beloved and I knew we'd be growing up with our kids but the degree to which it would be necessary (!) is still so shocking.

Back to the article:
Abram wasn't singled out for this privilege because of his greatness.  On the contrary.
He got a new name, a new identity, and a newly assigned life when God called him into covenant.
Abrahams claim to fame according to Hebrews Hall of Faithers in chapter eleven, is not that he believed in God but that he believed God.

Do you understand the difference?

The song that pops to mind (and you just know there is ALWAYS a song) is Trust and Obey~
"for there's no other way to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey".
I've been singing this song since I was a toddler for crying out loud.   I should have stayed that age.
Developing into responsible adulthood too often becomes code for:  I've got it figured out.  I can do this myself.

And here's the other thing I have to keep learning over and over again:
STOP MAKING HEROES OUT OF BIBLE FIGURES and evaluating their performance as if it were something to be measured by.   They are merely examples of God reaching down into messy lives with a mercy and grace and love that defies understanding.

It isn't about them or you or me.
It's about GOD the Creator who made us, shapes us, calls us and carries us.  24/7 without exception.

I have just discovered the newest release of Sally Lloyd Jones:   Thoughts to Make Your Heart Sing
If I told you it was for my grandkids, it'd be a half-truth.  No.  I buy them by the boxload;  to help me get back to basics, to wrap my head around simple bible truths and to stop COMPLICATING things!
Faith 101 if you will.
Hit the link and browse through this masterpiece with me.  It truly does make your heart sing and your eyes brim over at the reality of belonging to Him and becoming more and more aware of His never stopping, never giving up, unbreaking, always and forever love.
Thoughts to Make Your Heart Sing Video

The Bible:  HIS story (with divine fingerprints tracing all the others of the Bible) combined with Sally's gift of storytelling, brings home a beauty barring none.

Not A Fairy Tale

Encouragement from our friend Holley

(Inspired for release by yesterday's viewing of Tangled....

....Disney's fairly fun & decent recounting of Rapunzel)

I remember staying up late with friends to watch movies  that always seemed to close with the same line... And they lived happily ever after-- THE END But real life often doesn't work that way.

We hope and dream  but things don't always turn out like we plan.  We face trials, hard times, and we ask, "God, where are you in this story?" He gave you manna to eat in the desert, something your fathers had never known,  to humble and to test you so that in THE END it might go well with you. Deuteronomy 8:16 God's path to "happily ever after"--to all going well with us--

looks different than ours.  But in all of it we can trust that He has our good in mind, that He knows where the story is going,  that He will love us and keep us every step of the way. Easy?  Nope.  I've got a hunch many of your stories make Cinderella look like a sissy. Something we do with a smile on our face the entire time?  Not unless you're as unconscious as Sleeping Beauty. Worth it?

Oh, yes, because one day our Prince will come. Listen, sweet friend, as I take your heart by the hand and whisper these words... Your story has a good ending. And it's not over yet.

The dirty little secret of loneliness

I get this inspirational stuff popping into my inbox periodically.  Almost daily in fact.  It's from Heart to Heart with Holly.  She's got the gift of encouragement in spades and thanks to God, she aces at the job.

I trust she will not mind me sharing it with you.
Once again, a perfectly timed piercing of perspective.
Be blessed and then...

Get out there and have a cracker-jack day!

The dirty little secret of loneliness Posted: 17 Mar 2011 06:35 AM PDT I pull my car into a spot, turn off the engine, and a feeling unexpectedly wraps itself around me. Loneliness. I brush it off--who has thoughts like that in the parking lot of her favorite coffee shop? I think of my family, friends, all of you and shake my head. What's the matter with me? But from time to time, loneliness pays me a visit. I don't ever talk about it. I really don't even want to talk about it now. Oh,yes... God isn't a big fan of my comfort zone. What am I learning about loneliness? First, it's universal. We all feel lonely sometimes. It's not a personal reflection on us but rather "Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy" (Proverbs 14:10). So don't let the enemy trick you into believing it's about you--that it's some sort of sign that you're not good enough, loveable enough, worthy enough. No, ma'am. You just put on some pointy-toed shoes and kick those lies to the curb. Elijah was a prophet in the Old Testament who challenged the prophets of Baal in a serious showdown and God made an incredible victory happen.

So what does Elijah do?

Hightails it to the wilderness and tells God he's done. He says, "I am the only one left..." (that's loneliness talking). God's response is full of tenderness: The LORD said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by. " Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake.  After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When we're lonely, the first thing we need is to sense God's presence with us. Yet even after this, Elijah repeats to God,  "I am the only one left...." Then God tells him that there are seven thousand others faithfully serving Him too. Hmm, I'm thinking back to the coffee shop parking lot incident. Yep, loneliness distorts our perspective. I'm learning sometimes we just need a little reminder of the truth--that God is with us, others are alongside us, and loneliness is just a feeling ---

..... not a fact about who we are. Yes, amen, and who wants to go to my favorite coffee shop with me next time? p.s. I feel like there's someone reading with an ache in your heart and a lie running through your mind that says, "But I'm not loved. I truly am alone." Whoever you are, wherever you are, I want you to hear this loud and clear--that is not true. You are deeply loved, valued, irreplaceable in this world and the heart of the One who made you.

The Law of the Garbage Truck

Live every day as a gift from the Lord.

... b'cuz it is ... plain and simple.

(Thanks Corinne:)

In loving memory of a great fellow pilgrim.  Experiencing a gnawing need right now for the inspiration she so freely and regularly dispensed among us, I've rifled thru my Keeper's File 

for a fitting forward sent long ago and stored 

for such a moment as this:

One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport.

We were driving in the right lane when suddenly, a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us.  My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded and missed the other car by inches!  The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us.  My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy.  And I mean, he was really friendly.  So I asked, "Why did you just do that?

This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!"

This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call,

"The Law of the Garbage Truck"

He explained that many people are like garbage trucks.

They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger,

.... full of disappointment.

As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it

and sometimes, they'll dump it on you.

Don't take it personally.

Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on.

Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, home or on the street.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day.

Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets.

So.

Love the people who treat you right,

Pray for those who don't.

Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it.

Go and have a garbage-free day!

Undragon Your Life

We were sitting on the couch together this morning - him and I.
We watched this video together - him and I.
We felt inspired and encouraged at the same time, for precisely the same reasons - both him and I.
So we're sharing it cuz ... y'know?... that's just what you do with those you love -  you share it.
                                         **********

Only Jesus can free us from ourselves.
Pastor Jim Burgen tells the story of hearing about a character in the Chronicles of Narnia.

His name was Eustace Clarence Scrubb; his name tells it all.
He was a bratty, jealous kid. In "The Voyage of the Dawn Treader," Eustace belittles and complains about Lucy and Edmund again and again until his monstrous evil character inside starts to show on the outside; he becomes a dragon.
Only Aslan can save.
We are all like Eustace until Christ comes to our rescue.



C.S. Lewis strikes again.
Voyage of the Dawn Treader is...  "awesome, completely life-altering storytelling at its finest".
                                           **********

So we finished watching it, him and I.
And he pulls an old smooth (almost forgotten) 1978 move -
he asks me out to a movie!
I am grinning.   Widely.
Two cozy seats at some Silver City and a jumbo popcorn to share, coming right up!   Happy Eeek.

River Crossed!

Mom, surrounded by her children....

Newly arrived in the celestial city. 

Safe in the arms of Jesus. 

I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved.

They will come in and go out, and find pasture.  The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy;

I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

John 10: 9-10

But now, this is what the LORD says -- he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel:
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; 
I have summoned you by name;
you are mine.
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you...."
Isaiah 43

To all who have loved this woman along with us -
our sincere gratitude 

for your faithful friendship and loving care.  

God is very very good.  

(p.s. He was so gentle too!)

Phenomenal Mercy and Grace

Christmas Day was incredible.

All of us together in one place.

Ten great-grandchildren....

Thirty-four grandchildren....even Nicole from Florida!

Numbering fifty-five with significant others... 

(only engaged/marrieds were included here)  

Mom donned her prettiest housecoat - funky headwear and padded over to the couch for a half hour visit with us.  We sang, played our instruments, received words and gifts from Grandma.

Much Joy and many tears all jumbled up together.  

Absolutely wonderful.

Thank You Heavenly Father - that was a very precious provision.

Mom wants to impress the words of Psalm 103 on her family:

.....But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD's love 

is with those who fear him, 

and his righteousness with their children's children -- 

with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts.

Prayer Warriors Unite!

You've been asking for a while now, I know.
I've been waiting for inspiration - giving Mom some space in this journey - watching her - wishing to be of better use in this coming to terms with 'stuff'.
The facts of the matter:
Momsie was diagnosed with metastasized breast cancer last May.... two short years after her first foray into the chaotic world of chemo, radiation and radical surgery to purge herself from the cancer.
Her prognosis was a year to a year and a half with treatment.  'Treatment' means several rounds of poisonous chemo which the odd recipient at the Juravinski Cancer Centre doesn't comport well.
Like our mom.  She ended up taking most of her monthly cycles of chemo at half potency which she also rightly assumed would be far less effective.   Last weeks CT scan confirmed her suspicions; of her numerous tumours, that worrisome beast on her liver is twice the size.
Her pain is more constant now.  She is fiercely independent and trying to weather herself through it without
too much medication.  She doesn't like the effect that codeine in Tylenol 3 has on her system.
Carrying that pain around though, makes her weak and weaker still.
I mean shockingly so.
Now she's started a pain reliever called Endocet:  it contains a narcotic (oxycodone) and a non-narcotic element (acetaminophen).
I suspect that Mom's reluctance to incorporate this stuff in her daily regiment is a fear of developing a dependency on pain relief too early.  She saw what a zombie it made of her daughter Yvonne many years ago when Mom was her attentive nurse-maid.
It's a bit of a vicious circle.  She has no energy to speak of and yet hanging around like a limp dishrag has a negative effect on both the body and the spirit.  Is this resignation I see?  Is this a necessary and natural part of the journey?
She also has until December 21 (or 23rd?) to consider taking more chemo in pill form.  *sigh*
The conclusion of the matter:
We need to engage in prayer with you.  All of you.
1.  For the strength to pass this over to the LORD and to rest in Him.
2.  For courage to face the coming days with confidence and (dare I say it?) with joy.
3.  For relief from pain and a drug that she's comfortable (and may I add consistent) with.
4.  For clear direction regarding the decision for more chemo versus palliative care.
Thank you for loving Mom with us.  The Family of God is a great place to be.

Rich Mullins *sigh*

We're studying the first book of Peter this year in my Morning Bible study.  Wow.  What incredible truths we are learning to apply.  So timely.  Always so timely.  This epistle helps us to have the right frame of mind toward trouble in our life.  And who doesn't have trouble in their life?  I mean, seriously! -  If you're on the same planet with me - there's bound to come some trouble in your life.
Listen to Rich's song and be blessed.
Wish that guy was still on our planet -
but that's just selfish, I know.




There's bound to come some trouble to your life
But that ain't nothing to be afraid of
There's bound to come some trouble to your life
But that ain't no reason to fear
I know there's bound to come some trouble to your life
But reach out to Jesus, hold on tight
He's been there before and He knows what it's like
You'll find He's there
There's bound to come some tears up in your eyes
That ain't nothing to be ashamed of
I know there's bound to come some tears up in your eyes
That ain't no reason to fear
I know there's bound to come some tears up in your eyes
Reach out to Jesus, hold on tight
He's been there before and He knows what it's like
You'll find He's there
Now, People say maybe things will get better
People say maybe it won't be long
And people say maybe you'll wake up tomorrow
And it'll all be gone
Well I only know that maybes just ain't enough
When you need something to hold on
There's only one thing that's clear
I know there's bound to come some trouble to your life
But that ain't nothing to be afraid of
I know there's bound to come some tears up in your eyes
That ain't no reason to fear
I know there's bound to come some trouble to your life
Reach out to Jesus, hold on tight
He's been there before and He knows what it's like
You'll find He's there

But...but....or 'Even so'?

From Holley Gerth and her column Heart to Heart with Holley - a much appreciated dose of inspiration that regularly finds its way into my inbox - and always in a timely manner.  Go figure.

Two little words that will change your world Posted: 29 Aug 2010 10:00 PM PDT I've been hot on the trail of some God-sized dreams the last few years. And the hardest part has not been taking the next step, finding courage, overcoming obstacles. No, the biggest challenge has been the voice inside my mind. It's the one that says, "You can never do this. This is in the way. That won't ever change." You've struggled with that too? We're not the only ones. As Priscilla Shirer says in her book, One in a Million: Journey to Your Promised Land (B&H Books), the Israelites also battled fear and insecurities: "If there's a single word that doomed this generation of God's people from experiencing Promised Land living in their lifetime, it's this one: 'nevertheless.' They had heard with their own ears the assurances of God. They had seen and certainly tasted the cluster of fruit that more than verified, beyond their wildest imaginations, just how accurate God had been when He had described the land to them.... Nevertheless." She goes on to say that we're all tempted to do the same. I discover those words as I sit on my back porch one evening. As I finish, I lean back and stare into the deep summer sky. I ask God, "What do I say instead?" And like shooting stars, two words blaze across my mind. Even so. Yes, the situation is difficult and the obstacles seem insurmountable. Even so, God will deliver me. Yes, I left my comfort zone about 100 miles ago and all I want to do is eat a vat of chocolate. Even so, God can use me. Yes, it feels like the valley is dark, the mountains are high, and the enemy strong. Even so, God is able to get me to the Promised Land. Even so. Those two little words don't deny the difficulties or paste on a smile that says, "Everything is fine." They acknowledge life is hard. They recognize the obstacles. But in the end, they shift our gaze from what we see to Who we know. And that changes everything... especially us.

Hi from 3Y at Mac!

3Y Room 5 is isolation.  Reserved for patients who are at risk of infection - in this case, due to very low white blood cell counts.   We were forced to wear this Darth Vader gear and I obliged for the first ten minutes.  Then I had to make a choice.  Throw caution to the wind or suffocate during the line of duty.  

I had Susie capture my ten minute submission to the rules for the sake of posterity - 

besides, we were laughing so hard and gasping for air - McMaster would have had to supply us two more beds if we kept it up!

You've waited inordinately long to hear about Mom's progress.  So here at last is the visual to demonstrate her improved state of mind and spirit... 

She's some kind of cool great grandma - watching movies and playing solitaire on an ipad.  Today I found her wearing headphones under a baseball cap and fixated on the screen with Sense & Sensibility.  

Suddenly, she looked more 17 than 71.  LOL.    

But should you doubt me at all, here's the visual that should clinch it for everyone:

She's hounding us for six dice again - 

AND she's womping us everytime!

Dear friends and family:

Whew!  The past ten days have been 'challenging' to say the least and I am quite sure that I  speak for all my siblings (and mom!) when I say we are VERY thankful to be on the other side of it.  As you know, Mom had cycle two of chemo at the Juravinski Centre on Monday, July 19.

Dr. Ellis (Mom's Canadian oncologist) was very accommodating to our requests for more steroids and lining up home care for intravenous hydration based on our experience in Germany.  A different steroid was used and a slower schedule of being weaned off them - she also had a different anti-nausea drug to take home (Granesitron for those who just have to know) but after about four or five days - very little by way of food or drink was staying down and we had to face that same demon of pending dehydration.  The home-care nurse ordered her into hospital so that she could also get her heart meds thru intravenous.  *sigh*  

Mom spent about two and a half days in emerg and was eventually placed in isolation at 3Y room 5 at McMaster because of her low white blood cell count.  Chemo recipients always face a short lived 'danger' zone when the white blood cell count dips but it generally corrects itself IF you are eating and drinking reasonable amounts.  Hospitals are not generally where you want to be in that particular moment in time - however, by God's provision, Mom plowed thru cycle two and is once again smiling despite her circumstances.  

She is also now sporting some funky new hat-wear and bandanna's, one of them gives her the appearance of the flying nun :) ....but seriously?  I am so humbled watching Mom calmly shoulder some of these chemotherapy indignities!   I think if someone shaved MY hair off, I'd burst into some blubbering bawl-baby fit  and put everyone for miles around on edge.  

There was however, that same gut-wrenching moment of time where Mom wanted to give up and....well, just die.  This is where rubber hits the road and now that Mom is feeling decent again, we have some serious issues to consider and decisions to make - particularly since a CT scan is scheduled for next Tuesday.  Future course of action depends so much on what those test results show.  

So, dear friends and family and all who pray regularly for Mom, we have three very specific requests to make:

1.  Pray for her courage to see those results.

2.  Pray for peace of mind and the mind of Christ to make good decisions based on those results.

3.  Pray that in all respects, Mom (and everyone who surrounds her) will acknowledge and submit to the plan of our loving, gracious, Sovereign God and that we will live out our days in JOY.

He isn't 'safe' but He sure is Good.  (Hit the link and find out what this really means).

With Love,

Joanne

A VERY Quiet Sunday

The day dawned bright and beautiful - complete with the wonderful tolling bells 

signaling the call to worship!

We spent the entire afternoon outside under the awning.  Chemo recipients are warned to stay out of direct sunlight and naturally, they make sure you can here at Leonardis.  

I went for another stroll with my camera when the 'infusion' of six-dice reached saturation point. :)

I can't decide if the unique 'natural' look here around the Leonardis is intentional or stems from neglect.  There are other highly manicured properties round about that suggest the latter.  

This farmer has been hard at work bringing in the hay since the rain has finally stopped.

For a long time today, I was on my bedroom balcony following the antics of a large hawk, 

circling hungrily above the farmers freshly cut field.  

I captured this view of the mountain range on our return from Munich the day of Mom's CT scan.

It was taken at no less than 160km/hr from the front passenger seat of Victor's mad-cab.  LOL.

After Mom's rather harrowing experience with the CT scan (the needle dislodged partway thru the process) Victor thoughtfully made a drive-by viewing of the Castle he so desperately wanted us to see while we still had the chance.                              
                                      ***********
This is the former summer residence of the rulers of Bavaria and is located in the west part of the city in the middle of one of Munich's most beautiful parks. Five generations of Wittelsbach rulers were involved in the construction of this Baroque castle.

The building of Nymphenburg Castle  began in the reign of the Elector Ferdinand Maria: overjoyed by the birth of his son and heir, Max Emanuel, he had the central section built for his wife in the style of an Italian villa (Agostino Barelli, 1664-74). In about 1700, Max Emanuel commissioned Enrico Zuccali and Antonio Viscardi to extend the castle by adding galleries and pavilions.

Hit the link above for a cyber tour of one of Europe's most famous castles.

A glorious sunset for mom one evening as we entered her room... we view it as a heavenly benediction of our second sabbath 'rest' here in Germany.

And now, a progress report on Mom:

Once her blood sugar and blood pressure levels stabilized she actually had her best day 

(based on how she 'felt') on Friday the chemo day.

From there, three days have passed and she is steadily declining in how good she feels.

Metallic taste, loss of appetite, an overwhelming fatigue, nausea and over-all body soreness.

I just put her to bed and to sleep (I think) with a foot massage and she said even her teeth hurt.

This is not unusual of course to chemotherapy but I think we had both naively invested too much stock in the alternative meds countering those effects. 

As the saying goes:  This too shall pass.  

Be assured that she is carefully monitored to see her through these next few days as she climbs her way back out of the chemo reverie.  She sleeps a lot and I sit beside her reading a lot.

Prayer for regaining strength in body & spirit are always much obliged.

Chemo Day!

How on earth does an 'end stage' cancer patient wake up and face a second round 

of poisonous chemo with a smile on the face?  

Well, sit back, pour yourself a glass of red wine, dig up a piece of that 'sinfully delicious' 70% cocoa chocolate you've got stashed away in the back of your sock drawer 

(relax, both items are scientifically sanctioned as cancer fighters - Woot!) 

and I will give you an eye-witness account:

First of all, we asked for specific prayer for a restful, rejuvenating sleep after our harrowing experience with the CT scanner in Munich yesterday and voila! .... Mom rec'd the best nights sleep she's had in months!  I tiptoed into her room at 7:30 am and accidentally woke her up....

Then I sheepishly - hastily - retreated to my own room, berating myself all down the hallway for doubting the power of your prayers.

Lesson 101 in Letting go and Letting God means exactly that.  

So shut-up Joanne and take your lumps!

Add to this scenario - a sky full of brilliant delicious warmth and a terrace breakfast bathed in sunshine and Mom's near perfect readings for blood pressure and sugar levels

and I am humbled to the core.

The grounds behind the Leonardis clinic

Mom's arm is getting back to a new normal and spends the whole morning outside with her IV pole hovering over us - soaking in the herbal chemo infusions with one side of the body and packing a mean six dice round with the other.  Trouncing me, truth be told!

I decide to get ruthless.....

I wander off below with my camera and leave her reading instead. 

 Enough punishment!

In it's heyday - this clinic must have grown all its own organic veggies and herbs.

It looks like it's still being used despite it's decrepit state....

This appears to be a neglected chicken coop?  The eggs we eat at breakfast at definitely free range - very orange coloured yolks.  But I don't think the layers live around here anymore.

I'm approaching an official Norfolk Pine growing in it's natural habitat.

That's cool.  I once had one in my living room back home.  Picked it up from a Garden Centre and managed to keep it alive for, oh say -  about 4 months.  :)  

No green thumb here.  Never was and never will be.

So I can't keep them alive if my own life depended on it, but I can admire them in the place they were meant to grow.  That's got to count for something!

Coming back up thru the environmentally protected area to check on Mom and see if she's noticed that I've abandoned her yet.  LOL.  

Then Doctor D came by to visit us.  He outlined the afternoon procedure and told us
to prepare for a 3 to 4 hour marathon in the chemo chair - said he'd wire Mom up to EECP (Enhanced External CounterPulsation) which is admittedly, a somewhat outdated method of enhancing peripheral blood circulation during the chemo treatment.  Wait till you see what THAT looks like! (below)  

He proceeded to confirm what Mom had already long suspected:
the CT scan shows that her tumours have already grown & multiplied from last months' CT images
taken at the Juravinski Centre.  Her cancer is terminal and very aggressive.

Do you know what my mother did when he left our table??

She smoothed out the tablecloth with resolute precision, turned to our interrupted game of six dice
and said,"Who's turn is it?"

Why am I so continually surprised by this woman?

When am I ever going to 'get it'?

Chemo IV's have a distinct ominous look about them but nothing compared to this EECP bed that she allowed herself to be strapped into.  It fired up with a loud drone and pulsated so strongly, Mom's body jerked up a few inches every few seconds.  The surprise was so great we laughed hysterically till I couldn't decide if Mom was laughing or crying.  But no.  She was laughing and of course, felt the need for a bathroom not too long afterward.  She hung in there for another half hour only because I threatened to scour the cupboards for the depends supply ... so with one chemo down and one to go - she voluntarily disengaged herself from that indignity and decided to get her blood circulating with a good old-fashioned walk around the block after chemo instead!  

Pfft!  Stupid thing looks like some kind of execution device!

It only testifies to Mom's strong constitution and commitment to putting up the best possible fight 

despite all odds for increasing her survival time.

I think we'll stick to this room with the full body massage water bed. Yes sirree! 

We're going to spend a lot more time on this side of the lower level for sure.

Do you see the ant in this peony?  

Did you know that a peony needs ants to open up its bud and blossom?
Such infinitesimal breathtaking detail in our fallen world.
Can you imagine yourself under the constant watch and care of such a Creator?

This is how my mother faces second line treatment for metastisized breast cancer 

with a smile on her face:

She lives out Lesson 101 on Letting Go and Letting God.

All you prayer warriors out there?  Keep at it, cuz it's working.

  Praise be to God!

Wednesdays Sun

We were'nt the only ones soaking up a long absent sunshine.

Charging shamelessly 25 paces ahead of me.

We stopped by the local Goldsmith at the recommendation of another in house patient, a miner from South Africa (struggling with colon cancer) who said the man's prices were still reflecting gold values of 2002.  What do we know?  Sounds good.  Looks like gold, smells like gold, so it must be.

Isn't this the cutest little conifer?  It was in a planter pretending to be an annual or something.  

It was bearing cones!

Behold.  My favourite annual in my favourite colour.

The local market sells fresh fruit & veggies, all sundry and includes a delicatessen and a considerable wine collection.  Bellingham Shiraz/Cab blend from South Africa 2008 takes a prize.  At $4.79 it tastes like more.  We came for the wine, some better shampoo for me and some crackers for mom which will come in handy when she starts her chemo.

One of the big 'Clydesdales' and her offspring finally enjoyed a day out as well.

Clearly, the bottle on the left is shampoo.

Clearly, the one on the right is not.

I used Google Translator on every single word on that bottle and not ONCE, did the word shampoo pop up.  Words like coiling, hair care to tips, and then Haarpflege which is conditions.

Ugh.  That accounts for a whole week of bad hair days.  

But whew, now I can stop thinking about the chemo wig too.