Thursday, January 6, 2011

Processing Pain - the lighter side

A True Story...
Three year-old grand-daughter Danielle, 
one of five precious ones 
so precocious...
... so wild in a wonderful kind of way.
She was processing the events of Christmas Day where she roamed among 75 relatives, each coping with the somber reality of having to say a final goodbye to (super) grandma; 
the atmosphere heavy with tears and laughter in constant collision...
She found me at the kitchen table at the end of a day filled with fine food & finer fellowship.  
I hoisted her up to fasten the last few buttons on her coat.  
Out of the blue, she pulled my face close to hers (eyelashes almost touching) and exclaimed 
"Grandma?  We are ALL going to die!"
And then, without skipping a beat, she said -
.... Can I have some chocolate?
*sigh* 
She does an aching heart so much good.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

To my Ultimate Family

The great dichotomy of this earthly life.
A journey of pre-determined time - 
filled with both obstacle and opportunity, 
pain (with purpose in it!)
joy mingled with tears, 
Slack-jaw moments of wonder and worry
Panoramic experience so intense - 
it physically hurts...

I'd like to 'present' my Ultimate Family with a prayer penned by Holley Gerth - 
a writer for DaySpring who drops regular doses of inspiration into my inbox.  
May the God of All Wonders gird us up for 2011 
making us willing and able to Worship rightly with ALL our life!  
Posted: 01 Jan 2011 05:33 AM PST
Open Door photo by Ben ZvanLord,
There are many uncertainties in our world
but what matters most will never change.
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday
and today and forever. Hebrews 13:8
 
We believe You are with us, for us,
and surrounding us with Your love.
So do not fear, for I am with you…
I will strengthen you and help you. Isaiah 41:10
 
No matter what happens, You will guide us and fulfill Your purposes for us.
He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until 
the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6
 
Even in hard times we can be confident that we will have victory through you.
In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. Romans 8:37
 
We trust you will take care of us and bless us in more ways than we can imagine.
God will meet all your needs according to the riches of His glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19
 
We give each moment and every day to You.
Most of all, we give ourselves too.
Your Kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Matthew 5:10
Amen.
 
written with love for you by holley

Friday, December 31, 2010

River Crossed!

Mom, surrounded by her children....
Newly arrived in the celestial city. 
Safe in the arms of Jesus. 
I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved.
They will come in and go out, and find pasture.  The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy;
I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
John 10: 9-10
But now, this is what the LORD says -- he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel:
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; 
I have summoned you by name;
you are mine.
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you...."
Isaiah 43

To all who have loved this woman along with us -
our sincere gratitude 
for your faithful friendship and loving care.  
God is very very good.  
(p.s. He was so gentle too!)

Thursday, December 30, 2010

The Journey

Yay!  Tonight it is MY turn to sleepover in Mom's room.  We trade spots from bed to recliner.  She sleeps most of the time now - an upgrade in morphine appears to keep her comfortable.  When her eyes are open, they rarely focus on us - in fact, she seems to be looking past us.  We sincerely hope she will soon see Jesus over our shoulder, reaching out to her.   

This is a beautiful 12X12 giant card designed and crafted by grand-daughter Meghan for grandma - presented to her on Christmas Day.  34 love notes were attached inside; a favourite memory or thought expressed by each of her grand-peeps... 
This is a painting commissioned as a 60th birthday present to Mom (a few years ago now!).
I remember the artist sitting down with us girls for a chat about Mom.  She needed to get a sense of her personhood for inspiration before beginning.  We think the end result was mighty bang-on.
At the time - I tried my hand at writing a story about the picture and now it hangs in an envelope behind the picture.  I meant to scan the story and post it so you could read it for yourself, but being next door with Mom for most of every day now,  I am forced to type it all out long-hand....this camera image didn't help much either.  
The Journey
The woman placed her devotional on the table and settled back into the pillows of the settee.
She surveys the garden with contentment, her gaze finally resting on the wheelbarrow by the garden wall.  Yes!  Today she is definitely going to finish the planting of those bulbs.  She pushes the comforter aside and pulls herself up to pick out the curled leaves in the topiary.
The garden is a source of never ending work but she remembers with a smile the feelings of pleasure & satisfaction it brings.  She reaches up to feel the ruffle on the apron... almost dry.
"Time to change" she decides, "and get on with this day."
*****
I hear the screen door close behind the woman as she enters the house.  I look around me at this place so lovingly tended.  I think of the hands that never rest....always a project on the go!
Past the garden wall, out in the horizon beyond, the clouds are rolling back a new day....
Do I see the shape of angels in the clouds?  So subtly God is bringing to mind:  it is His mercies that are new every morning.  The wind blows a refreshing breeze that scatters the clouds; soon the sun will warm my place on the garden path.  My eyes are drawn to the movement of pant legs flapping on the wash line.   The trousers are worn-looking and so oddly out of place in the woman's wardrobe.
They beckon me closer.  I step up onto the porch and see close-up that the knees have been mended often.  Obviously, the woman has had to wear these for a long time.  The apron strings blow up past my face.  My fingers catch the hem.  It too says something about the woman.
The stories of service it could tell!  They would be many, the sound of them so familiar.
My hand comes to rest on the antique shepherd's crook.  
How this woman loves the theme of sheep and shepherd!  I see it suddenly in more places:
the pillow tapestry, the flower pot...
Ancient words play over again in my memory, 
"The Lord is My Shepherd, I shall not be in want....Your rod and your staff, they comfort me."  Yes, that must be it!  That is the source of the woman's secret strength.
I have an irresistible urge to tell this remarkable woman how much she is admired and loved.
I hasten through the door and call from the foyer, 
"Mom?!"

The clock shows 2:22am.  I must try and sleep with one eye on my beautiful Mom.  
Thank-you Father.  Please be gentle when you come to get her.

Monday, December 27, 2010

Phenomenal Mercy and Grace

Christmas Day was incredible.
All of us together in one place.
Ten great-grandchildren....
Thirty-four grandchildren....even Nicole from Florida!
Numbering fifty-five with significant others... 
(only engaged/marrieds were included here)  
Mom donned her prettiest housecoat - funky headwear and padded over to the couch for a half hour visit with us.  We sang, played our instruments, received words and gifts from Grandma.
Much Joy and many tears all jumbled up together.  
Absolutely wonderful.
Thank You Heavenly Father - that was a very precious provision.

Mom wants to impress the words of Psalm 103 on her family:
.....But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD's love 
is with those who fear him, 
and his righteousness with their children's children -- 
with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

The Cross at Christmas


My Mom.  
Still so young.  But still dying.  
No more chemo.  Relentless tumours.  Way more pain.  No appetite.
We're trying to find a pain medication that agrees with her body chemistry.
We were stretched out on her bed -- she spends increasing amounts of time in her bed -- 
this morning,  devo's was a rendering of Psalm 103... 
O my soul, bless God, don't forget a single blessing!  
He forgives your sins - every one.  
He heals your diseases - every one.  
(we smile at each other when I read this)
He redeems you from hell - saves your life!
He crowns you with love and mercy - a paradise crown.
(she's wearing it)
He wraps you in goodness - beauty eternal.
(she's beautiful alright)
He renews your youth - you're always young in his presence.
God makes everything come out right;
We have been very busy getting the proverbial 'house in order' - thankful for the time and ability to see this through and cope with the myriad emotions that wash over us.
We are praying to be able to enjoy each others company yet on Christmas Day 
when the whole shebang will be present.  
You have been praying haven't you?  
We are very thankful for this and ask that you continue to do so.
The final scene in John Bunyan's classic The Pilgrim's Progress shows Christian crossing the river to the celestial city.  Strong and mighty arms pull him up from his watery grave and embrace him with vigour, welcoming him into a splendour beyond description.  
To help someone prepare for such a crossing is....frightening, yes.  But less so now.
It's more like privilege.
And a very profound one at that.  
Almost a year in the making - our community project Great Hymns of Faith & Other Favourites is finally available.  It continues to be a great balm for a weary soul.
We missed the kafuffle over the moon.  
The way I see it?....we've had our fair share of amazing 'God displays' in different ways.
Imagine what a lunar eclipse would look like from His vantage point? 

Friday, December 10, 2010

Slow to change

The picture in the blog header....
It was time to change seasons again.
Heave heavy sigh.  
Pfft!
....but I'm still wearing my sandals out there.
And I don't care what you think about it either.
:)
But seriously now, about seasons of change?  
I've been doing some personal reflection on the idea.
I've determined that I'm not much for it.  
Which of course, is a ridiculous deduction to make.
No change?  No growth.  
Simple.
Change is the antonym of static or stagnate.

Here's another discovery:  
Change that really counts for something (radical OR gradual) costs you considerably. 
In many ways, the process will include pain.
It's like being that hunk of crude ore in the Silversmith story...
He holds it in the fire just long enough to separate the silver from the dross 
and doesn't consider the 'job' finished till he sees his reflection staring back at him.

So maybe it isn't change but it's season that wearies me?
I think I just need to go to bed.