Light for the Lost Boy

Andrew Peterson.
How I wish I had a better sense of recall.
I think we first discovered him through the online program Haventoday.org
How often have I and my beloved been served up true blessing by the widely diverse and oddly well-timed contributions featured here?
(a rhetorical question that can be blissfully ignored btw:)
It was a series on Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas, complemented by a music video of Petersons' Dancing in the Minefields that had us first sitting up straight and taking notice.
Imagine that for starters - a marriage referenced as a dance of two in a minefield.
Newlyweds will balk and quickly proffer disgust at such a notion.  Been there, done that.
The seasoned longer-serving couples however will smile at its quirky truth.  Been there, doing that.

We fell in love with his gift for getting to the heart of the matter in song and story and even made a road trip to Valparaiso, Indiana last year so we could listen to him live on stage.

I'm here to tell you he's done it again with his newest album:  Light for the Lost Boy
But don't take my word for it.  Click the link and decide for yourself.
You are urged however, to take your time with it, to listen carefully to the words, to let them steep slowly in your soul.

Andrew Peterson is equally gifted as a writer - working on book four of the fantasy adventure series Wingfeather Saga.   I couldn't put them down, now joining the throng who wait eagerly for the conclusion of the story.
(truly? does it have to end?)
To be so doubly gifted seems almost cruel to the rest of us.
Conversely, the rest of us can simply take up and read or take up and listen - finding ourselves a place of respite in a crazy world and a peace to pass on to those around us.
Well, I call it a peace but it is perhaps more aptly termed a restless sense of grace.  Such as you might eventually discover in reading Tolkien's Lord of the Rings Trilogy or least this commentary of same: A Sudden Joyous Turn


When I look at you, boy
I can see the road that lies ahead
I can see the love and the sorrow

Bright fields of joy
Dark nights awake in a stormy bed
I want to go with you, but I can’t follow

So keep to the old roads
Keep to the old roads
And you’ll find your way

Your first kiss, your first crush
The first time you know you’re not enough
The first time there’s no one there to hold you

The first time you pack it all up
And drive alone across America
Please remember the words that I told you

Keep to the old roads
Keep to the old roads
And you’ll find your way
You’ll find your way

If love is what you’re looking for
The old roads lead to an open door
And you’ll find your way
You’ll find your way
Back home

And I know you'll be scared when you take up that cross
And I know it'll hurt, 'cause I know what it costs
And I love you so much and it's so hard to watch
But you're gonna grow up and you're gonna get lost
Just go back, go back

Go back, go back to the ancient paths
Lash your heart to the ancient mast
And hold on, boy, whatever you do
To the hope that's taken hold of you
And you'll find your way
You'll find your way
If love is what you’re looking for
The old roads lead to an open door
And you’ll find your way
You’ll find your way
Back home

Enjoy exploring this artist as we have.
I think it's time for another road trip with my beloved.

Abram, an unbeliever??

If you have ever felt unworthy or unqualified to believe that God will fulfill great purposes in your life, please allow me to introduce you to Abram. What you may not know about him is that at the time of his dramatic call from the Lord, he is living in idolatry. Abram is not yet worshiping the one true God; he is following many "little g" gods along with the rest of his family (see Joshua 24:2). He does not know the Creator of the universe, who is about to unleash his power into his destiny. In short, when our story begins, Abram is an unbeliever.

ACK!  What are you saying?

Believing God | Today's Christian Woman

I was first drawn to this article because of something that has occupied my thoughts for most of the summer.  I've been sifting through the things I'll call core values or beliefs and attempting to measure my commitment to them.  Weird stuff...and disturbing too.
Like Occupy Washington, this is no welcome squatter of my personal space.

Let's cut to the chase here.
Perhaps what I have identified as core values or beliefs could more accurately be called ideals or ideas.  Some (of which I used to apply as the irrevocable Law of the Medes & Persians) have since become utterly irrelevant.
Ouch.
Age, circumstance and children have a way of bringing these things to bear.
My beloved and I knew we'd be growing up with our kids but the degree to which it would be necessary (!) is still so shocking.

Back to the article:
Abram wasn't singled out for this privilege because of his greatness.  On the contrary.
He got a new name, a new identity, and a newly assigned life when God called him into covenant.
Abrahams claim to fame according to Hebrews Hall of Faithers in chapter eleven, is not that he believed in God but that he believed God.

Do you understand the difference?

The song that pops to mind (and you just know there is ALWAYS a song) is Trust and Obey~
"for there's no other way to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey".
I've been singing this song since I was a toddler for crying out loud.   I should have stayed that age.
Developing into responsible adulthood too often becomes code for:  I've got it figured out.  I can do this myself.

And here's the other thing I have to keep learning over and over again:
STOP MAKING HEROES OUT OF BIBLE FIGURES and evaluating their performance as if it were something to be measured by.   They are merely examples of God reaching down into messy lives with a mercy and grace and love that defies understanding.

It isn't about them or you or me.
It's about GOD the Creator who made us, shapes us, calls us and carries us.  24/7 without exception.

I have just discovered the newest release of Sally Lloyd Jones:   Thoughts to Make Your Heart Sing
If I told you it was for my grandkids, it'd be a half-truth.  No.  I buy them by the boxload;  to help me get back to basics, to wrap my head around simple bible truths and to stop COMPLICATING things!
Faith 101 if you will.
Hit the link and browse through this masterpiece with me.  It truly does make your heart sing and your eyes brim over at the reality of belonging to Him and becoming more and more aware of His never stopping, never giving up, unbreaking, always and forever love.
Thoughts to Make Your Heart Sing Video

The Bible:  HIS story (with divine fingerprints tracing all the others of the Bible) combined with Sally's gift of storytelling, brings home a beauty barring none.

Maternal Musings

Today, in a sunlit spare room upstairs, I spent an extraordinary afternoon with the contents of small ordinary looking box.

In a corner of that room, lie two very large rubbermaid totes filled with memories of my mother.  

Totes filled with precious personal things too sacred to discard -- things that need to find a new home somewhere and which by some nebulous design, became the assignment of this first born daughter. 

Me.  

So ill-suited to the task.

I wondered if today would be the day.  

In one entire afternoon, I managed to rifle through just that one little shoebox sized container, discovering (among other treasures) this well-preserved professional portrait taken in the late 1940's in Rotterdam.  

That's my mother in the middle - parked between her parents and brothers.  

The lighting is perfect and the pixels so crisp I can almost see the colour green of her eyes.  

And then it struck me.  How surreal this moment was! 

....to finally begin the process of picking through my mom's things and 'randomly' start with a box that she had, as first born daughter, kept of her own mother's memories...

The newspaper obituary, the funeral service program, old family photos, hand-written letters & cards of condolence from her church family and abroad...  

All perfectly preserved and protected for the sake of posterity - for such a time as this? 

I am oddly without words sufficient to describe the feeling of this experience. 

At once tingling the spine & nourishing the soul.

Kyria Blog: Assessing the Year that Was

How I would love to kiss my mother again.

Kyria Blog: Assessing the Year that Was

Summer and Sundays

We've seen some crazy weather systems this summer.  

One early morning in June (and I mean '1:30' a.m. early) we found ourselves ~ a small band of the PJ-clad and the utterly fascinated, woken from sleep and standing slack-jaw in front of an upper story bedroom window.  

Slack jawed and naive I might add.

The violence & fury of thunder & lightning of that night (along with the hurricane force winds bowing our trees every which way) was matched, perhaps even trumped! 

at the end of August ~ 

a storm we watched from a basement window this time around.

Saner yes, but not near as much bang for your buck as the saying goes.

                            And yet ...

Who can watch such a display of power and might and not feel very small indeed?

This is what I've come to appreciate most about Storms in general, whether they be spiritual, physical, emotional or geographical...

they put me in my place and in a proper perspective.

Dependent and very much at the mercy of the Creator of the universe.

The same One who scoops the ocean in his two hands,

measures the sky between thumb and pinkie,

who marches an army of stars out each night, 

counts them off, calls each by name...

Calls each by name!

Seriously, who do we think we are?

Who even comes close to being like God?

We had a terrific sermon this morning covering 

the comfort message of Isaiah 40.  

What a great Word that is.

Need some encouragement?

You'll find it there in spades.

Happy Sabbath Rest to all.

Summer Sweeping By

Four grandchildren are heading off to school for the first time this September.  

Apparently, my angst over this fact shows up all over my face.  Now, when this delightful passel of pure innocence barges through the door ~ all tripping over each other in the mad crush to be the first to update me with the latest school supplies, they check themselves.  They even assume an apologetic tone and quickly assure me that they can still visit when they have holidays.
Pfft!!

      I am trying to put on a braver face and act more mature.

The grandkids are wearing their crochet hat creations by Tricia.
As soon as I can recover the name of her business, I shall set up a link here.

L'il Ones Custom Crochet Creations

Thanks Amy!  :)

One thing I AM celebrating with great pleasure

is the completion of my first ever blog book!

 A Once-in-a-lifetime trip to England in 2008 with my baby girl was encapsulated in my first ever blog which in turn has finally become my first ever blog book.
I had set aside July to get that job done and missed that deadline by a mere three days.  

160 high quality gloss pages showcasing more than 600 photos and accompanied with copious amounts of  journalling and memories.

 I am extremely pleased with the results.  And trust me, 

ANYONE can do this if I can.  

Look up Blurb Booksmart  and let your imagination go!

A fitting tribute to summers end may be a picture of my first ever sighting of the Cicada.

Who can even imagine the haze of those hot summer days without the piercing buzz of the Cicada? 

One of these locust-looking insects woke me up at 4am from its perch on the foyer wall a few weeks ago and I simply had to take a picture.  

Then I had to find some courage to 'dispose' of it somehow so I could get back to sleep.

This particular specimen was about two inches in length, VERY leggy and three dimensional.

 I could not stomach the idea of splatting it against the wall so I swatted it with a wad of wet paper towel and scurried it out the front door.

*ish*

It was minus two legs ~ carnage I found in the morning.  Ugh.

Not A Fairy Tale

Encouragement from our friend Holley

(Inspired for release by yesterday's viewing of Tangled....

....Disney's fairly fun & decent recounting of Rapunzel)

I remember staying up late with friends to watch movies  that always seemed to close with the same line... And they lived happily ever after-- THE END But real life often doesn't work that way.

We hope and dream  but things don't always turn out like we plan.  We face trials, hard times, and we ask, "God, where are you in this story?" He gave you manna to eat in the desert, something your fathers had never known,  to humble and to test you so that in THE END it might go well with you. Deuteronomy 8:16 God's path to "happily ever after"--to all going well with us--

looks different than ours.  But in all of it we can trust that He has our good in mind, that He knows where the story is going,  that He will love us and keep us every step of the way. Easy?  Nope.  I've got a hunch many of your stories make Cinderella look like a sissy. Something we do with a smile on our face the entire time?  Not unless you're as unconscious as Sleeping Beauty. Worth it?

Oh, yes, because one day our Prince will come. Listen, sweet friend, as I take your heart by the hand and whisper these words... Your story has a good ending. And it's not over yet.

The dirty little secret of loneliness

I get this inspirational stuff popping into my inbox periodically.  Almost daily in fact.  It's from Heart to Heart with Holly.  She's got the gift of encouragement in spades and thanks to God, she aces at the job.

I trust she will not mind me sharing it with you.
Once again, a perfectly timed piercing of perspective.
Be blessed and then...

Get out there and have a cracker-jack day!

The dirty little secret of loneliness Posted: 17 Mar 2011 06:35 AM PDT I pull my car into a spot, turn off the engine, and a feeling unexpectedly wraps itself around me. Loneliness. I brush it off--who has thoughts like that in the parking lot of her favorite coffee shop? I think of my family, friends, all of you and shake my head. What's the matter with me? But from time to time, loneliness pays me a visit. I don't ever talk about it. I really don't even want to talk about it now. Oh,yes... God isn't a big fan of my comfort zone. What am I learning about loneliness? First, it's universal. We all feel lonely sometimes. It's not a personal reflection on us but rather "Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy" (Proverbs 14:10). So don't let the enemy trick you into believing it's about you--that it's some sort of sign that you're not good enough, loveable enough, worthy enough. No, ma'am. You just put on some pointy-toed shoes and kick those lies to the curb. Elijah was a prophet in the Old Testament who challenged the prophets of Baal in a serious showdown and God made an incredible victory happen.

So what does Elijah do?

Hightails it to the wilderness and tells God he's done. He says, "I am the only one left..." (that's loneliness talking). God's response is full of tenderness: The LORD said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by. " Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake.  After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When we're lonely, the first thing we need is to sense God's presence with us. Yet even after this, Elijah repeats to God,  "I am the only one left...." Then God tells him that there are seven thousand others faithfully serving Him too. Hmm, I'm thinking back to the coffee shop parking lot incident. Yep, loneliness distorts our perspective. I'm learning sometimes we just need a little reminder of the truth--that God is with us, others are alongside us, and loneliness is just a feeling ---

..... not a fact about who we are. Yes, amen, and who wants to go to my favorite coffee shop with me next time? p.s. I feel like there's someone reading with an ache in your heart and a lie running through your mind that says, "But I'm not loved. I truly am alone." Whoever you are, wherever you are, I want you to hear this loud and clear--that is not true. You are deeply loved, valued, irreplaceable in this world and the heart of the One who made you.

Be still my anxious heart....

Letting God into my broken-ness and thanking Him for loving me through the message brought by the rich, soothing voice of Fernando Ortega.
Thanks again Lisha for sending it my way!  I can naught but pay it forward....

Just Think About It!

Imagine waking up every morning, wandering into the bathroom, rubbing the sleep from your eyes and finding this post-it-note reminder on the mirror....

Good Morning!  This is God.

I will be handling all your problems today.

I will not need your help.

So have a good day!

I love you!

.... an anecdote from Sunday's sermon last week at Covenant Presbyterian Church here in Naples, Florida.  It was part and parcel of a thought-provoking exposition of Romans 5 concerning the issue of how we are viewed by Our Maker in heaven.

Our 'RIGHTeousness' doesn't depend on us.

God's love is unconditional.

(We don't truly 'get' the term unconditional do we?)

His grace is sufficient.  

No matter how many times we falter, 
he will persevere with us to the end.

To the end.

No matter what.

Christianity is not about a religion that does good.
It's not even about religion.

It's about a relationship with the source of all goodness.

It's about helpless children of the first Adam RUNNING to the second Adam for the righteous life that they can NEVER manufacture on their own.


Jesus loves me, yes I know.
For the Bible tells me so.

Enormously comforting I'd say.

Heaven is for Real

Heaven Is For Real 

Just read it.

.... I'm still in a daze.

I have just been blessed in countless remarkable ways and find myself quite unable to comment further.

*********

My mom has just entered eternity.  

Looking back, it seemed that she rallied to survive Christmas Day where she was given 

the strength & grace to briefly meet with & visit one last time 

with each one of her children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

That night, (December 25th) we took her by ambulance to the hospital where she finally accepted the idea of taking some relief from the pain by way of morphine.  She got two doses several hours apart and then, when the Ontario Patient Transfer Mobile didn't materialize at 7am as promised, 

(she SO desperately wanted her own comfy bed/recliner) she threw back the thin sheet off the gurney 

in that emergency cubicle, 

ordered us to get her into a wheelchair and 

bust her out of the hospital ourselves.

  My bro Mark and I had stayed by her bedside overnight.  

He cast me a glance that read10% skepticism and 90% worry.  

Can we legally DO such a thing he seemed to be asking?

It didn't matter.  

Mom was already trying to slip off the gurney solo to put her boots on.  

Apparently, there would be no discussion.  :) 

Most of me was cheering her on.  Yay Mom!  You go girl! 

Who's got time for pomp and ceremony when time is so short? 

Mark went to warm up his truck; he pulled up curbside and together we helped our beautiful PJ clad momma into the backseat with as much dignity as we could manage.

She died five days later.  

Remarkably, though she was physically able to make heavily assisted moves from bed to recliner, 

she seldom spoke or communicated with us after that day.  

Her eyes were often open but focused to something beyond us.  

Approximately five hours before death - her friend Jane (from her Cancer support group) visited to offer those final gestures of good & godly love:  hugs, prayer, foot massages....

The room was very quiet;  

just a few of us were present when Jane looked up at Mom and asked her what she was smiling about.  Her one word answer? 

"Paradise"  

"Paradise" was Mom's final and pretty much solitary 

word that week. 

My Mom was getting a sneak peek if you will. 

**********

My beloved and I have recently developed the habit of enjoying morning devo's online, listening to the radio ministry of Charles Morris of Haven Today.   

A ton of edifying resource material is recommended here and that is where 

we first learned about this book.  

It's the best $15.00 bucks I've ever spent.

I will quite frankly, 

never be the same.

.... I dare to wager the same will be true for you.

The Knitting Thing Again....plus addendum

Here they are.
My first (and surely, ONLY) pair of socks made by my own hand.

What fun.  Seriously.
Competent knitter I am not, but still I enjoyed the process very much.

The thrill of accomplishment - the time it afforded me to simply sit quietly, creating * pondering * listening to music * OR best of all? * sharing comfortable conversation with those I love.  
I was really hoping to have them done before Mom passed away, but I missed the mark by two weeks.
Not that it ever carried the threat of fret;  by now we've learned a thing or two about this truth:
All things in the appointed time.
I first wrote about the Master Weaver here,
the One who knits us together in our mother's wombs,
the One who charts our lives and
carries forth every purpose laid out for us
The One of whom it is said:  All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

I still can't fathom it all.  And it doesn't matter that I do.
I can simply marvel instead.  That does matter!

I post the following picture as proof that at my great age, I can be found practising the liberating skill of laughing at oneself more often.  It was a quiet evening in early December around Mom's kitchen table, (the table with the really poor lighting) a decent enough place for six dice, not so for knitting on 4mm slick turbo needles.
After fixing the umpteenth slipped stitch, my little sister ran off to her place (it's attached to moms granny suite).
'Probably pouring herself a good stiff drink' me thought :)  
A unique thought to think about a teetotaller but, oh well.
'I hope she pours a stiff one for me too!' me thought again, more sensibly this time.

She soon reappeared and with a great guffaw (and no helpful libation in hand), affixed me with a miner's sort of headlamp to address the lighting issue.  She proceeded to play the iphone paparazzi and forwarded the end result.  It was a great moment of comic relief - I think we made enough noise to even rouse Mom's curiosity from the bedroom.  

We've spent quite a bit of time there again - at Mom's place.

It's so comforting to be at her place, among the things of Mom.

I will write about that soon, but I can't just yet.

One day at a time....

My blog is my journal.  A place where I unravel and 'process' - always agonizing overlong on most posts - tweaking, refurbishing and generally driving myself nuts.
My ever cautious Beloved (with the ultra private personality) often wonders aloud what possesses me to disclose so much of myself to just ... anybody.
But I simply replicate the now famous words of my late mother:  that's just the way it is.
Apparently, many of mom's friends were also keenly aware of her decidedly firm state of mind on most issues - and somehow after the funeral, there was this old adage circulating...something about an apple not falling far from its tree.  :)
So if I must, I shall wear that mantle with both pride and humility - if such an oxymoronic style exists.

I hope someday to have my daughter teach me how to convert this blog into a hardcover book, and then snippets of my earthly sojourn will remain on a dusty shelf in our home library for any interested persons of posterity.
The reader will know one thing for sure - for good or for bad, I'm an open book.
My hubby groans reading this over my shoulder.
The reader will know one other thing for sure - the discovery (in the past thirty years) of a divine sense of humour, living with my well/cleverly appointed other half.  I could write a book about that.
Hence the groaning.

So.  The next stage of my journey will be coming to terms of an earthly life without mom nearby.
I thought I'd feel run over by a truck by now.  But no.  I thought maybe I'd just feel empty.  But no.
... At least not yet.
I feel too grateful to God for His overwhelmingly specific and speedy answer to our prayer(s) - for giving us the enormous privilege of waving her off on the riverbank - for bringing Nicole back into her life before having to leave it behind - for the realization of how rich she was in faithful, affirming friendship...

On Sunday, I could re-connect with my own church family - and then ultimate dessert!.... reveling in the company of my preschool peeps over dinner 

and a delightfully squishy viewing of the Curious George Movie on laptop. 

(Laptop just took on a whole new meaning :) 

My conclusion thus far?  It's not a crime against mom to 'enjoy' these first days of mourning.

On the contrary, I will 'credit' her by attempting to adopt her hard-won conviction of Matthew 6:34:

Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  

Each day has enough trouble of its own. 

Yep.  One day at a time.  

Walk by faith, not sight.

Processing Pain - the lighter side

A True Story...

Three year-old grand-daughter Danielle, 

one of five precious ones 

so precocious...

... so wild in a wonderful kind of way.

She was processing the events of Christmas Day where she roamed among 75 relatives, each coping with the somber reality of having to say a final goodbye to (super) grandma; 

the atmosphere heavy with tears and laughter in constant collision...

She found me at the kitchen table at the end of a day filled with fine food & finer fellowship.  

I hoisted her up to fasten the last few buttons on her coat.  

Out of the blue, she pulled my face close to hers (eyelashes almost touching) and exclaimed 

"Grandma?  We are ALL going to die!"

And then, without skipping a beat, she said -

.... Can I have some chocolate?

*sigh* 

She does an aching heart so much good.

To my Ultimate Family

The great dichotomy of this earthly life.

A journey of pre-determined time - 

filled with both obstacle and opportunity, 

pain (with purpose in it!)

joy mingled with tears, 

Slack-jaw moments of wonder and worry

Panoramic experience so intense - 

it physically hurts...

I'd like to 'present' my Ultimate Family with a prayer penned by Holley Gerth - 

a writer for DaySpring who drops regular doses of inspiration into my inbox.  

May the God of All Wonders gird us up for 2011 

making us willing and able to Worship rightly with ALL our life!  

Prayer for a New Year Posted: 01 Jan 2011 05:33 AM PST Lord, There are many uncertainties in our world but what matters most will never change. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Hebrews 13:8   We believe You are with us, for us, and surrounding us with Your love. So do not fear, for I am with you… I will strengthen you and help you. Isaiah 41:10   No matter what happens, You will guide us and fulfill Your purposes for us. He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until  the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6   Even in hard times we can be confident that we will have victory through you. In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. Romans 8:37   We trust you will take care of us and bless us in more ways than we can imagine. God will meet all your needs according to the riches of His glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19   We give each moment and every day to You. Most of all, we give ourselves too. Your Kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Matthew 5:10 Amen.   written with love for you by holley

The Cross at Christmas

My Mom.  

Still so young.  But still dying.  

No more chemo.  Relentless tumours.  Way more pain.  No appetite.

We're trying to find a pain medication that agrees with her body chemistry.

We were stretched out on her bed -- she spends increasing amounts of time in her bed -- 

this morning,  devo's was a rendering of Psalm 103... 

O my soul, bless God, don't forget a single blessing!  

He forgives your sins - every one.  

He heals your diseases - every one.  

(we smile at each other when I read this)

He redeems you from hell - saves your life!

He crowns you with love and mercy - a paradise crown.

(she's wearing it)

He wraps you in goodness - beauty eternal.

(she's beautiful alright)

He renews your youth - you're always young in his presence.

God makes everything come out right;

We have been very busy getting the proverbial 'house in order' - thankful for the time and ability to see this through and cope with the myriad emotions that wash over us.

We are praying to be able to enjoy each others company yet on Christmas Day 

when the whole shebang will be present.  

You have been praying haven't you?  

We are very thankful for this and ask that you continue to do so.

The final scene in John Bunyan's classic The Pilgrim's Progress shows Christian crossing the river to the celestial city.  Strong and mighty arms pull him up from his watery grave and embrace him with vigour, welcoming him into a splendour beyond description.  

To help someone prepare for such a crossing is....frightening, yes.  But less so now.

It's more like privilege.

And a very profound one at that.  

Almost a year in the making - our community project Great Hymns of Faith & Other Favourites is finally available.  It continues to be a great balm for a weary soul.

We missed the kafuffle over the moon.  

The way I see it?....we've had our fair share of amazing 'God displays' in different ways.

Imagine what a lunar eclipse would look like from His vantage point? 

Slow to change

The picture in the blog header....

It was time to change seasons again.

Heave heavy sigh.  

Pfft!

....but I'm still wearing my sandals out there.

And I don't care what you think about it either.

:)

But seriously now, about seasons of change?  

I've been doing some personal reflection on the idea.

I've determined that I'm not much for it.  

Which of course, is a ridiculous deduction to make.

No change?  No growth.  

Simple.

Change is the antonym of static or stagnate.

Here's another discovery:  

Change that really counts for something (radical OR gradual) costs you considerably. 

In many ways, the process will include pain.

It's like being that hunk of crude ore in the Silversmith story...

He holds it in the fire just long enough to separate the silver from the dross 

and doesn't consider the 'job' finished till he sees his reflection staring back at him.

So maybe it isn't change but it's season that wearies me?

I think I just need to go to bed. 

Forgiveness - What it is and What it is not

First of all, let me say this:  Mom is slightly improved.  Please know that your prayers for 'peace' are both much apparent and appreciated.
Secondly, as to the title of this blog post - let me say unequivocably, I offer these thoughts not as an authority on the subject but as an ardent (albeit reluctant) student of same.  My observations are simply the result of serious but necessary soul searching and reflection of certain events in my pilgrimage.  Only by God's grace can I rightfully claim any richer understanding of the concept of forgiveness.
And no doubt - I have far to go.

We watched a very gut-wrenching movie together - Momsie and her three daughters. 
Amish Grace is an exploration of two vital tenets of Christianity: grace & forgiveness and is based on the true story of the 2006 schoolhouse murders of five Pennsylvanian Amish girls.  It was strangely fortifying to sit through this bawling our eyes out together; the vigorous discussion that followed the film was such that only Mom's signal for rest and her bed brought us to a truce - a revisit is likely to happen soon.  :)



It was an extremely well-acted, respectful rendering of a horrible human tragedy and this is the line (defended by the Amish 'clergy') that sparked such a fierce debate:  Forgiveness is unconditional.
Collectively, we had just sat under a series of sermons and read a few books on precisely that topic:  Repentance/Forgiveness Restoration/Healing.
Unconditional forgiveness?  Does the Bible teach that?
Have you ever challenged yourself to ponder the precept?  Want a discussion to grow by?  Stick three or more people in the kitchen, pour some beverage of choice and lay your cards on the table.
I think you'll be surprised.  Maybe even a bit rattled.  Not to worry.  Spiritual stretching never killed anyone.  On the contrary.

Prayer Warriors Unite!

You've been asking for a while now, I know.
I've been waiting for inspiration - giving Mom some space in this journey - watching her - wishing to be of better use in this coming to terms with 'stuff'.
The facts of the matter:
Momsie was diagnosed with metastasized breast cancer last May.... two short years after her first foray into the chaotic world of chemo, radiation and radical surgery to purge herself from the cancer.
Her prognosis was a year to a year and a half with treatment.  'Treatment' means several rounds of poisonous chemo which the odd recipient at the Juravinski Cancer Centre doesn't comport well.
Like our mom.  She ended up taking most of her monthly cycles of chemo at half potency which she also rightly assumed would be far less effective.   Last weeks CT scan confirmed her suspicions; of her numerous tumours, that worrisome beast on her liver is twice the size.
Her pain is more constant now.  She is fiercely independent and trying to weather herself through it without
too much medication.  She doesn't like the effect that codeine in Tylenol 3 has on her system.
Carrying that pain around though, makes her weak and weaker still.
I mean shockingly so.
Now she's started a pain reliever called Endocet:  it contains a narcotic (oxycodone) and a non-narcotic element (acetaminophen).
I suspect that Mom's reluctance to incorporate this stuff in her daily regiment is a fear of developing a dependency on pain relief too early.  She saw what a zombie it made of her daughter Yvonne many years ago when Mom was her attentive nurse-maid.
It's a bit of a vicious circle.  She has no energy to speak of and yet hanging around like a limp dishrag has a negative effect on both the body and the spirit.  Is this resignation I see?  Is this a necessary and natural part of the journey?
She also has until December 21 (or 23rd?) to consider taking more chemo in pill form.  *sigh*
The conclusion of the matter:
We need to engage in prayer with you.  All of you.
1.  For the strength to pass this over to the LORD and to rest in Him.
2.  For courage to face the coming days with confidence and (dare I say it?) with joy.
3.  For relief from pain and a drug that she's comfortable (and may I add consistent) with.
4.  For clear direction regarding the decision for more chemo versus palliative care.
Thank you for loving Mom with us.  The Family of God is a great place to be.

Rich Mullins *sigh*

We're studying the first book of Peter this year in my Morning Bible study.  Wow.  What incredible truths we are learning to apply.  So timely.  Always so timely.  This epistle helps us to have the right frame of mind toward trouble in our life.  And who doesn't have trouble in their life?  I mean, seriously! -  If you're on the same planet with me - there's bound to come some trouble in your life.
Listen to Rich's song and be blessed.
Wish that guy was still on our planet -
but that's just selfish, I know.




There's bound to come some trouble to your life
But that ain't nothing to be afraid of
There's bound to come some trouble to your life
But that ain't no reason to fear
I know there's bound to come some trouble to your life
But reach out to Jesus, hold on tight
He's been there before and He knows what it's like
You'll find He's there
There's bound to come some tears up in your eyes
That ain't nothing to be ashamed of
I know there's bound to come some tears up in your eyes
That ain't no reason to fear
I know there's bound to come some tears up in your eyes
Reach out to Jesus, hold on tight
He's been there before and He knows what it's like
You'll find He's there
Now, People say maybe things will get better
People say maybe it won't be long
And people say maybe you'll wake up tomorrow
And it'll all be gone
Well I only know that maybes just ain't enough
When you need something to hold on
There's only one thing that's clear
I know there's bound to come some trouble to your life
But that ain't nothing to be afraid of
I know there's bound to come some tears up in your eyes
That ain't no reason to fear
I know there's bound to come some trouble to your life
Reach out to Jesus, hold on tight
He's been there before and He knows what it's like
You'll find He's there